Something has gone horribly awry at Google Analytics. You click on the Sign In button and get this menu:
WTF? I can’t find the damn thing I want. What is all this shit? Here are the flaws:
- Skimming text doesn’t work.
Every single item has the word Google in it. Is that needed? I came to the fucking Google Analytics site. Do I really need reminding it’s Google? No. Looking at the other words I see the word “Analytics” in THREE different choices. WTF! What’s the difference between Google Analytics and Google Analytics Premium? What the heck is a 360 Suite? Why are they all here? What the heck is tag manager? Why is it in my face? Lastly, all of them start with Google except the middle one, Adometry by Google. Why does that one break the pattern? Why do they insist on breaking my brain?
- No icons
With all these choices, icons could help me differentiate. But not, some graphics design asshole said, “No, icons will disturb my fung shui.” I hate you. Give me some personality, some color, something to help me see the difference. You suck.
- It doesn’t know who I am.
I’m already logged into Google. Just realize who I am and just give me the one goddamn thing I look at every day. Log me in automatically and give me the option of finding other properties. GMail has this figured out. Close the window and open it back up, now I am logged out. Booo!
- The menu is 90% not clickable.
- Put your mouse a tiny bit under one of the choices and it doesn’t work. Is that really good UX? No, bastards! Make the whole line clickable. Be nice!
Ugh, this menu pisses me off. It’s such a simple thing and they have made every error imaginable. Boo, hiss, rubbish!