Game of Thrones Season 8 Episode 3

You know that one person who picks on all the little inconsistencies or details? Yeah, that’s me.

For years we have been hearing “Winter is coming! Winter is coming!” like some Chicken Little story. We kept hearing about the magic and the origins of the night king. All that build up. I am imagining the writers room had a conversation like this a few years ago:

Writer 1: Ugh, this whole Night King zombie horde is dumb. Let’s get rid of it.
Writer 2: But what would be focus on instead?
Writer 1: A rag-tag group (like the Avengers!!!) who battle the evil queen and her pirate lover.
Writer 2: But they have a giant army of Dothraki!
Writer 1: Kill em all. They haven’t been cool since Aquaman, I mean Drogo.
Writer 2: What about the Unsullied?
Writer 1: Kill them too. Not Worm tho, he cool.
Writer 2: What about all the other people?
Writer 1: Fuck em. Except the cool people. Everyone else dead.
Writer 2: What about Lady Mormont, she was fucking awesome!
Writer 1: Let her kill a giant or something and then whack her. We gotta wrap this shit up.
Writer 2: What about the Night King??
Writer 1: Who cares. Arya can stab him or some shit. She should jump out of a fucking tree to do it.
Writer 2: What about Bran? He should do some funky 3-eyed raven shit right?
Writer 1: No he just sits there like a potato.

I can’t even continue this imaginary conversation because it is making me upset. How the fuck did Arya get past everyone to kill the Night King? Did she get there before him and climb up in the tree? So she was just sitting in the fucking tree??? WTF Arya! And then she jumped at him and was caught mid air by the throat. Not sure if anyone has ever gotten slightly bumped on the windpipe. It HURTS! You don’t just stab people after jumping out of a tree and landing NECK FIRST into a frost kings iron grip!

In a tree. Jesus. That seriously is the best you writers can do? And the zombies can hear her nose bleeding, but don’t notice her crouching in a tree with hardly any leaves in it.

Oh wait, that library scene. There was literal chaos and killing non stop…and then all of the sudden…DEAD SILENCE. Arya is in the library and the zombies are like “Shhh…” and Arya tiptoes around. Then blood drops out of her nose the zombie hears it. She tiptoes….nothing. She drops a little blood on the ground and the zombie’s are like “What was that!?” Fuck you Game of Thrones. This is bullshit. People would be screaming their heads off. It’s wasn’t quiet!

And then of course 8 seconds later, back to chasing and screaming. There were more cuts than zombies. Every shot was like 0.2 seconds. It was like watching a strobe light.

There were about 50 times that our heroes should have been dead and somehow they kept hanging around even though there was no explanation. Briene was surrounded, so was Jamie. The zombies were killing everyone in the crypt and Tyrion and Sansa are totally cool behind a slab.

Image result for doesnt makes any sense meme

It makes me so angry. It’s lazy writing. It’s unimaginative. It’s just spending all your money on effects and giant scenes. Write good dialog. Write good plot. Stop trying to wow me with special effects.

Same goes to you Avengers! Time travel is stupid.

</rant>

%d bloggers like this: