Rubberband Man

So I was looking at the computer screen, minding my own business and playing with a very small rubberband next to my mouth. Suddenly, HICK! I hiccuped and sucked the rubberband into the back of my throat. I don’t want to panic. My co-workers will think I am truly a moron. So I cough once, but alas, it is stuck in the back of my throat.

I slowly get up, (ignoring their “Are you ok?” questions) and walk calmly to the bathroom trying not to swallow. I get in the bathroom, and there is an old man there. I go into a stall and patiently wait until he leaves the room. Then I panic.

I cough repeatedly and try to get the damn thing out. Will this screw up my internal organs? Will it get stick on my intestines? I think, hmm, maybe if I cough while holding my nose…ACKUM! The rubber band flies out of my mouth into the toilet with a silent, “plink”.

I straighten out my shirt, shake my shoulders slightly, stand tall, and stride out of the bathroom. One more dilemma that I handled gracefully and elegantly.

In other thoughts… The Jets are going to win the Superbowl this year. This time, I mean it!

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