I have seen this effect first hand my whole life. Some examples:
- I tried to convince my parents that homework was stupid. The more I tried to convince, the most entrenched they became.
- I tried to get a girl to love me. The more I loved her, the less she loved me. My cousin treated women like crap, and got all the girls.
- Convincing my partners at Koko (1995-2002) that I was right worked terribly when I was animated and passionate.
- Convincing my wife of anything….let’s say when an irresistible force meets an immovable object, my wife will win.
- At work, most things are complicated, especially when you have alot of people. Being right is fuzzy. Convincing people is really hard. It’s politics.
Politics is a great word here. What will the decision be? What will the policy be? It’s so hard to align people. So hard to convince people you are right. Is it even YOU who are right or your IDEA which is right? Is there even TRUTH or RIGHTNESS at all?
All I know is that someone designed the chair I am sitting in right now and its killing my back. What sadist did this? And was there someone yelling at him saying, “This chair won’t be comfortable!” He obviously didn’t see this chart.