I’ve been trying to live the life of a retired person, but I am finding it harder than I imagined. Every successful person has a serious amount of luck in their history. I am no exception. I have been extremely fortunate in my career to be able to retire in my 50s.
I used to have a calendar that was full of 30 minute meetings from early morning until late afternoon. I switched contexts very quickly from one meeting to the next with a few gaps here and there. Now, my calendar is completely empty. There are no Slack messages asking for my help. No meetings coming up. I don’t need to think about people and their needs. It’s a vast stretch of nothingness. It’s the Nothing in The Never Ending Story.
When my kids were younger, I took a hiatus for 8 weeks. It was a sensational summer and we went to the park in palo alto to swim and played non-stop. Now, my kids are grown and out of the house, so I don’t have them to play with. I have a new puppy, but it’s not the same. I’ve been playing more tennis, but it’s not every day. I am starting to feel anxiety about days with too little to do.
Things to do
I have a smattering of things I am doing, but they don’t add up to a full calendar.
- Tennis. I joined every USTA league I could.
- Exercise. We go to the gym a few hours a week, but again, not that much.
- Pocket Billiards. I was considering joining a pool league. I need to make sure it doesn’t overlap with tennis too much.
- Reading. I am reading a biography about Washington. I stopped reading for a decade and am trying to resurrect it for myself.
- Watching streaming TV. I have a walking treadmill under my desk. I stopped sitting on the coach and am trying to walk (backwards) as “payment” for watching TV.
- Taking dogs to park. I take them every day from 4-5pm. It’s my most regular activity. There is a nice community there.
All of this is probably filling 10-20% of the calendar that I used to have for work. It’s nowhere near the amount I used to do. I am feeling much more isolated and out of sorts. Of course, I also don’t feel anxiety about work, which is great. All in all, it is not a hardship.
My mother-in-law, after retirement, took up weaving and it has absolutely consumed her life in the best way. She has a vibrant community which gives her life meaning, purpose, and direction. I would like to have that kind of new beginning, but I am very fuzzy on what and how.
Lots of people have suggestions, but none of them are striking a chord for me (yet). I am not in a rush though. I want it to happen organically. One of the problems is that I’m a weirdo. Maybe it will take a year or more. We shall see.
Whatya think?