Happy is not my preferred state of being

My mom asks me all the time, “Are you happy?”

I find the question to be annoying. (Sorry mom) The reason is that I don’t actually want to be “happy”. Happy to me implies blissful cow-like behavior. It implies sitting and staring at the sunset and thinking, “Gee, this is swell.” To me, it’s boring to want to be happy.

I want to be focused. I want to be filled with purpose and drive. I want to be a man on a mission.

Of course, there have been moments in my past when that purpose and drive led to a moment of joy/happiness. Wonderful days to be sure. However, those moments are the few and far between. Every day, I want to be aware and alert and moving towards my goals.

Yesterday was my 1 year anniversary of joining Engagio. People often ask, “Are you happier there than at Marketo?”  Again, I think it’s the wrong question. The right question is, “Are you more focused now than at Marketo?”  The answer is “YES, by 100x!”

I was focused at Marketo from 2007-2012. However, the last few years left me feeling unfocused, without drive and passion, rudderless. I didn’t believe in the company vision or how I personally could fit into it. This more than anything else led me away from a company I poured my heart and soul into.

At Engagio, I feel focused on a new mission. I am building a new product for new people doing new things. We chose a very ambitious scope and it will take years to fully realize it, but when we do it could change the SaaS landscape.

Happy/fulfillment is a destination. It is a momentary place. Purpose is a process, a journey. Purpose drives you. Happiness makes you stay still. Inspiration feeds purpose and purpose drives mankind forward

Ask yourself, “Do I want to be happy or do I want purpose?” Now ask yourself, “What is my mission?”  Are you happy with those answers?

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