Hats and Tennis

Published 3 Comments on Hats and Tennis

I used to hate wearing hats. They would feel uncomfortable. I never used one while playing tennis until this year. At some point, I bought a can of tennis balls that came with a nice looking hat from Wilson. I wasn’t wearing it, but while playing tennis I started to feel the top of my head tingle. Sort of like a sunburn in the making feeling. I realized, my hair has fallen out so badly, that I am in danger of getting a bald-spot sunburn. This depressed me greatly. I decided to give the hat a try.

Surprisingly, the hat felt comfortable. I knew my “bangs” no longer showed in the front of my head. Bangs are my memory of hair. Now I have scalp. Scalp sucks. I put on the hat and looked in the mirror. I saw my fathers scalp in front of my eyes. I was now, REALLY depressed. But it felt good to have the hat while playing tennis. I know I looked like a doofus, but it felt good. Until I cut my hair.

I cut my hair pretty short and when I put on the hat, I could feel the fabric with my head. My damn bald spot again! I could FEEL the hat with my head. I was really annoyed. I tried to ignore and eventually stopped feeling it, but still. I mean…come on! COME! ON!

I had the thickest hair! Look at this picture when I met Katie. It’s like a goddamn beaver crawled on my head! It’s thick and luxurious! Look at it! LOOK AT IT! Man. I have fallen apart. Look at this one. The fish has more hair than me. All that I ask is that I can survive long enough to transfer my soul into a nanobot body that can have as much hair as I want. Is that too much to ask?


  1. Everyday I have hair is a blessing. it is one of those things (along with Lasik)that whenever I think about it, it just makes me smile. I was sure when I turned 28 it was all over, and than when I had a kid, I was positive my head would shine, but it was not to be. Perhaps three kids would have done the trick. And if I lose my hair tomorrow, I shall not be too sad knowing that I had a few good extra years. I feel bad for your hair since you didn’t have decades to prepare (as I do), but now you have a nice hat, and your remaining hair is still bushy, meaning that you can’t even experiment with a comb-over, which is a good thing. You can always share it all off, I give you a 50% chance you look like Andre Agassi, 50% chance you look like Charlie Brown.

  2. What I can’t understand is how I can grow hair on every other part of my body (especially those places that shouldn’t have hair) except on the top of my head!!!

Whatya think?