Rubberband Man

So I was looking at the computer screen, minding my own business and playing with a very small rubberband next to my mouth. Suddenly, HICK! I hiccuped and sucked the rubberband into the back of my throat. I don’t want to panic. My co-workers will think I am truly a moron. So I cough once, but alas, it is stuck in the back of my throat.

I slowly get up, (ignoring their “Are you ok?” questions) and walk calmly to the bathroom trying not to swallow. I get in the bathroom, and there is an old man there. I go into a stall and patiently wait until he leaves the room. Then I panic.

I cough repeatedly and try to get the damn thing out. Will this screw up my internal organs? Will it get stick on my intestines? I think, hmm, maybe if I cough while holding my nose…ACKUM! The rubber band flies out of my mouth into the toilet with a silent, “plink”.

I straighten out my shirt, shake my shoulders slightly, stand tall, and stride out of the bathroom. One more dilemma that I handled gracefully and elegantly.

In other thoughts… The Jets are going to win the Superbowl this year. This time, I mean it!

2 replies on “Rubberband Man”

wow, that would have been a terrible way to die. You would be found dead in a bathroom, probably slumped up against a urinal or a toilet, with a rubber band in your throat. How would you explain that to people in heaven? However, did you consider that if you would have swallowed the rubber band than maybe you could have turned into Stretch Armstrong or that guy in fantastic four. I just looked up to see his name and I saw that they are making an fantastic four movie. It stars Jessica Alba as The Invisible Girl (why why why would they make her invisible?) and Michael Chiklis (from the Shield) as the Thing.

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